"Big Back Porch"

I've reached a stage in my life were I just don't get embarrassed all that often. Not because embarrassing things don't happen to me. On the contrary, embarrassing things happen to me so often that I've almost become immune to the emotion.


Last week I got embarrassed.

A couple minutes from my house there is a drive-through convenience store. That’s right. I don’t even have to get out of the car to get a soda. And they carry caffeine free Coke. I actually don’t drink a lot of soda, but every so often I think it’s a fun treat for me and my kids. Just for the record the caffeine free is for the kiddos – I’m obsessed with Dr. Pepper. Who doesn’t like a little bubbly sugar, right?

Well, last week I was in the mood for a DP and Ezra had been such a good boy all week, so I swung by the drive through on the way home from preschool. I pulled up and rolled down my window. The gas station clerk opened her very large window. I ordered and she turned around to go get my order. It was at that moment when things unraveled.

Ezra, in a very loud, very clear voice says, “Mommy, look! That woman has a BIG, FAT BUTT!”

Then, if that weren’t bad enough, Henry chimes in, just as loud, just as clear, “It’s a Big Back Porch!”

Yeah.

I hoped she hadn’t heard. Let’s just say, she never returned. Another woman returned with our sodas and took our money. Who wants to bet the first woman could have been found crying in the bathroom?

Ezra and I had a great discussion about NOT commenting on another person’s size.

Henry will NOT be watching a certain Disney movie that contains the “Big Back Porch” quote anytime soon.